Here is a humorous scenario written by Al Hess published in Travel Weekly, October 15, 1998.

Customer: Hello. How much is your paint?

Clerk: We have good quality paint for $12 a gallon and premium quality for $18. How many gallons would you like?

Customer: Five gallons of good quality paint, please.

Clerk: That will be $60 plus tax. Thank you and have a nice day.

THIS IS A CONVERSATION YOU WOULD HAVE IF YOU BOUGHT PAINT FROM AN AIRLINE:

Customer: Hello, How much is your paint?

Clerk: Well...it depends on your circumstances.

Customer: Depends on what circumstances?

Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.

Customer: Okay, how about giving me an average price?

Clerk: That is difficult to answer. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 42 different prices up to $200 a gallon.

Customer: What's the difference in the paint?

Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.

Customer: I'd like some of the $9 paint.

Clerk: I have to check if we have any $9 paint available. When do you intend to use the paint?

Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.

Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow will cost $200.

Customer: What?! When would I have to paint in order to get the $9 paint?

Clerk: That would be in three weeks. But you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday. I'll check to see if we have any of that paint available.

Customer: What do you mean check to see if it's available? Your shelves are full of paint; I can see it right there.

Clerk: It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, I noticed we don't have any of the $9 paint available. The lowest price available now is $12.

Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking?!

Clerk: Yes, sir. We change prices and rules throughout the day and since you haven't actually purchased your paint yet, you must pay the current price. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest that you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?

Customer: I don't know exactly. I will buy five gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.

Clerk: Oh, no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and we will take the remaining paint from you.

Customer: What?!

Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall, and bedrooms, but if you stop painting before you paint the bedrooms, you will violate our inventory and tariff rules.

Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all the paint? I already paid you for it!

Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all the paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems.

Customer: I'm going somewhere else to buy my paint.

Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. All paint stores have the same price rules.

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